The fun thing about blogging is that I can chronicle how things have changed and how things have stayed the same. I've enjoyed looking back over all the posts I have published and those posts I haven't. I started this post on 4/30/15:
"I have written about some changes that will be taking place for our family soon. I cannot speak of them yet but give me a few weeks. I will tell you we are not expecting another baby and it is not a health concern (now you all know that our big news was selling our Homestead and moving to our current land).
During all of this we have had ups and downs. We are excited but sometimes a little sad. We are hopeful but sometimes fearful. As I was experiencing a "valley moment" I realized that I had been putting my hope in the things of this world. Decluttering and the prospect of leaving our familiar home has shown me that I have found security in my possessions. I had become fearful and the purging of material possessions was creating a sense of loss in my heart. I literally began to feel a physical sinking feeling in my stomach. Then I began to be fearful about other areas of my life.
During the quiet hours of the morning I realized something. I am battling fear and uncertainty because I am not finding my security in Christ. It was a sobering realization that the more I purged from my life, the more insecure I became. It was an unexpected feeling. It was as if I was believing the false notion that these things "
and that's how it ended. I wonder why I quit typing?
I'm glad to see that I have a record of how hard it was to leave our home. I LOVED our home and the small town we lived in. I miss it. We have grown so much in these past three and a half years. My mindset has dramatically changed about how I view my possessions. We lived in a camper for a year and most of our stuff was in storage. I remember checking on these things often. Eventually I noticed things deteriorating. The Bible is right. Moth and rust will soon enough destroy our "things". As we cleaned out sheds and old trailer houses I saw collected things, things that had once been enjoyed and possibly treasured which turned into rusty, dusty junk. Some of the finds we were glad for. If they belonged to a family member or somehow survived the dust and mildew we kept it but 90% of the items we found we wanted to get rid of because they no longer had an monetary value. It's really taught me a lot.
In a way I think it is one of the best things that could have happened, seeing my husband go though all of the sheds and getting rid of things help me to let go of a lot. There are things I will always have an emotional attachment to but I can now wrap my mind around getting rid of quite a bit with no regrets. It makes me very careful when I am purchasing items. If it is a large item of great price I find myself thinking, "Will I find the same value in this item in five years? Ten years?" If I'm uncertain then it is easy for me to say no.
I value people and time more than things and I realize that the more things I have the more things I have to take care of. That doesn't mean I don't have little things that bring me pleasure but I know where the true joy lies.
Thank you for reading.
Grace & peace,
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